Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We need to get me chipped asap
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
