I bet he comes in French.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
