I can't watch pbs sober anymore
her vagine was all disorganized.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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