He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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