my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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