My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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