I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize