mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
