I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
