That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize