we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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