so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
