i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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