Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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