Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The feeling are messing with the penis
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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