The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
