You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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