Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
