I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize