Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
