You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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