I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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