don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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