So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
