Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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