I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
