all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
