Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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