i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
