You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
