yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
