not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He? As in you personified your dick?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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