lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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