Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
