And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
