whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
