So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
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I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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