I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Your dad touched me again.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
