You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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