I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
