Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Come see our sink grown plant.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
