Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
And then he peed in my hair
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