It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i dont even know how to be here
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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