i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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