i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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