we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
