he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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