do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
