Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
