He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
