I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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