his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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