yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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