absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
