Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
