our cab driver is having phone sex.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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