Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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