omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
