What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
