WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
