So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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