just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
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He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
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do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize