Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses

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  (216): you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses http://tfl.nu/p89j
  Replies (20) Good night (2681) Bad night (606)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.

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  (317): It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English. http://tfl.nu/xp6b
  Replies (5) Good night (3803) Bad night (684)
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  (949): View more from California

  I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.

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  (949): I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation. http://tfl.nu/uflu
  Replies (4) Good night (3224) Bad night (1126)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.

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  (253): You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me. http://tfl.nu/6xwb
  Replies (17) Good night (4008) Bad night (849)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.

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  (503): Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general. http://tfl.nu/8yi1
  Replies (9) Good night (4966) Bad night (1142)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?

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  (828): If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me? http://tfl.nu/3q2x
  Replies (5) Good night (2501) Bad night (870)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.

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  (260): Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide. http://tfl.nu/8iit
  Replies (4) Good night (676) Bad night (1910)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"

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  (702): I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le" http://tfl.nu/jcjk
  Replies (4) Good night (684) Bad night (954)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.

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  (780): He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned. http://tfl.nu/9m93
  Replies (11) Good night (1037) Bad night (386)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.

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  (775): He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants. http://tfl.nu/n2nz
  Replies (3) Good night (1615) Bad night (737)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know

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  (727): You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know http://tfl.nu/dtxn
  Replies (6) Good night (734) Bad night (344)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.

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  (252): You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives. http://tfl.nu/s1c1
  Replies (10) Good night (446) Bad night (1150)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.

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  (612): We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door. http://tfl.nu/fjm6
  Replies (2) Good night (774) Bad night (328)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.

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  (907): I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused. http://tfl.nu/yzqj
  Replies (6) Good night (448) Bad night (571)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.

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  (440): being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day. http://tfl.nu/9xbm
  Replies (5) Good night (708) Bad night (281)

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