you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
