You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.