Texts From Last Night

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  (563): View more from Iowa

  whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.

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  (563): whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend. http://tfl.nu/jypi
  Replies (72) Good night (5406) Bad night (804)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight

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  (203): I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight http://tfl.nu/ncr8
  Replies (79) Good night (7844) Bad night (735)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday

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  (701): Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday http://tfl.nu/rqca
  Replies (36) Good night (4655) Bad night (932)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.

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  (334): The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards. http://tfl.nu/c6zk
  Replies (15) Good night (12849) Bad night (849)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  You can't call dibs 8 years later.

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  (936): You can't call dibs 8 years later. http://tfl.nu/gnnz
  Replies (7) Good night (2533) Bad night (973)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool

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  (724): at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool http://tfl.nu/z0fe
  Replies (3) Good night (1340) Bad night (532)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.

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  (973): If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will. http://tfl.nu/voi6
  Replies (2) Good night (1045) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise

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  (410): I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON (908): Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise http://tfl.nu/ujsf
  Replies (3) Good night (920) Bad night (494)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.

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  (701): Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard. http://tfl.nu/ybia
  Replies (17) Good night (2704) Bad night (649)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming

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  (615): Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming http://tfl.nu/odmb
  Replies (4) Good night (1394) Bad night (479)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.

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  (480): Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night. http://tfl.nu/s016
  Replies (10) Good night (1603) Bad night (494)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'

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  (508): oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future' http://tfl.nu/w2au
  Replies (8) Good night (711) Bad night (379)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!

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  (406): That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face! http://tfl.nu/7j4j
  Replies (2) Good night (365) Bad night (562)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree

  (1-719): View more from Colorado

  it happenes

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  (719): I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree (1-719): it happenes http://tfl.nu/m4ky
  Replies (1) Good night (983) Bad night (333)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving

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  (905): I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving http://tfl.nu/6325
  Replies (2) Good night (829) Bad night (374)

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