Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.